Are you dealing with the breakup blues, unable to keep your hands off the ice cream, or stop cyberstalking your ex-significant other? Having to end a relationship is never easy. For what it’s worth, any relationship requires emotional, physical, and psychological investment. This is why breakups can be particularly hard, and coming to terms with the end is never easy. Couples form bonds of intimacy when they are together. We humans happen to be creatures of habits, so a change as significant as ending a relationship can be especially jarring.
On the flip side, time heals all wounds, and getting over a bad breakup is only a matter of time and space. The end of a relationship can lead to character development as it is times like these when we introspect and become self-aware as to our shortcomings. Ultimately, if a breakup is what leads to growth and ridding yourself of an incompatible partnership, especially if it is a toxic one, then the momentary sadness doesn’t seem like a bad deal after all.
Navigating a breakup
Here are some tips you need to follow through with to get through a breakup:
1. Give in to the grief
Any breakup results in heartache. No matter how terrible things are between you and your partner, the decisiveness of the end is heart-wrenching. So don’t even think about getting over it in a matter of hours. Allowing yourself to indulge in grief can be a good thing. Load up on the calories, cozy up in a warm blanket, cry in front of your friends or in private, just do anything that will help you get all the emotions out. This is a great way to cleanse yourself of the baggage of the relationship once and for all. Remember the good times and bad, so you can close the chapter once and for all. It sucks, but this is truly therapeutic.
2. Housecleaning
You need to cleanse your house, both in the literal sense and the figurative sense. When you are in a relationship, you create memories with your partner, and certain things hold significant meaning in connection to those things. It can be the ring around your finger or a stuffed bear placed on a shelf, or even a mug you bought together. It is always best to get rid of sentimental pieces when you have had time to grieve and cry.
Another type of housecleaning you must do is deleting your ex’s number and social media posts related to them. This is because once you have cried and wallowed enough, it is time to move on. There is nothing to be gained from staying in the past, so a purge is a way to go. You will be surprised just how liberating deleting old pictures and videos can be.
3. Moving forward
With the grieving phase done and over with, it is time to get your groove back on. This can be hard, especially if you had been in a long-term committed relationship, but it is not impossible. Being single can give you time to do things you might not have done previously, like hanging around with friends and partying or trying new interests. Planning and scheduling activities to get your mind off things is a great way to get back in the game and start enjoying life with your newly single status.
4. Prioritize yourself
Relationships are hard. While you get companionship and love, there are many times when you have to make compromises to make it work as a couple. It takes two to tango, after all. But when you are single, you can enjoy freedom like no other. Want to play video games in nothing but your undies, go for it. Want to own a puppy but had an ex who was allergic to dogs, go for it. Now is the best time to indulge yourself and be independent. You can now prioritize your needs and wants without having to consult anyone else.
5. Post-break-up self-care
If a breakup teaches you anything is that while relationships may be ever-changing and people in your life may come and go, you will always have yourself. So, you need to take care of yourself first. Self-love is essential to have the heart to love again. Treat yourself better by eating healthy, getting exercise, not being self-deprecating, and respecting yourself. This doesn’t mean you become a complete narcissist; there is a difference between being a jerk and having the self-awareness to recognize one’s strengths and weaknesses. Give yourself respect, grace, and affection instead of seeking it from a partner.
6. Saying goodbye
By the end of a breakup, you should have a sense of clarity. Through the tears and the arguments and the pain and the hurt, you need to come out stronger. Many relationships are doomed from the beginning, especially if they involve an unhealthy co-dependency or a toxic and volatile environment. It is better to endure the breakup and mourn the end once and for all instead of bearing the burden of the relationship in hopes that things will get better.
So, is it all bad news? Not. In the end, a breakup does not mean that everything was for nothing. You had a great time with your partner, and there were ups and downs, but they become a part of who you are as a person. Like a scar you got from falling off a bicycle, the breakup represents the hurt of falling down but also the enthralling feeling of riding the bicycle with the wind in your hair and the cares of the world behind you.
Writing the next chapter
When all is said and done, the breakup is just that, the death of a relationship. While mourning follows any kind of loss, life goes on. Your life should not be defined by a single relationship or the end of one. The breakup is, ultimately, the end of a chapter in your book of life. An end that marks the beginning of a new chapter, a new phase. Moving on is not as hard, and knowing what you know now, it seems breakups don’t seem all that bad, especially if you can go out with friends whenever you like, keep a pet cat or not get into an argument about who will take out the trash.