We tend to focus on our relationship with others. Society views us as ‘complete’ when we’re in a satisfying relationship with a partner or when we have good relationships with our friends. And while these are essential aspects of our social life, they often make us overlook another more important aspect: our relationship with ourselves.
If you can’t love yourself, you won’t be able to have a satisfying relationship with someone else.
There are people in this world who put their partner or their family first and give until they become stretched out and thin. If you keep taking love without replacing it, one day you will run out.
One of the reasons why you’re suffering from an unhealthy relationship is the lack of self-love. Self-love breeds self-esteem and confidence; the former ensures that we are treated well and do not settle for less, while the latter allows us to be comfortable with our partner. Often, people who lack self-confidence will doubt their partner continuously.
Self-love saves you from comparing yourself to others.
Let’s face it, we all do it sometimes. Look at someone and think, “man, I wish I had hair like that” or “look at those abs, mine will never be like that.” All these comparisons consume our relationships and make us feel unworthy of true love. Dare to be yourself, not see yourself as someone who lacks this and that. Your happier self is waiting right outside.
Self-love is the secret to happiness.
When you love yourself, you begin making the right choices for you. You stop saying ‘yes’ to the things you don’t want to do. You start going to places you’d like to and doing things that interest you.
When you don’t love yourself, you repress these desires, saying they’re selfish and often get roped into doing stuff you don’t want to do. Now, most of these things aren’t big enough to depress you by themselves but put together, they will contribute to your unhappiness.
Self-love improves communication.
When you don’t love yourself as you should, you have trouble expressing your needs and desires. You also hold back your opinions and ideas for fear of being judged. When you begin to truly love yourself, you become able to express all these things without worrying about being laughed at or judged. And often, that’s the key to healthy communication… in any relationship.
Self-love leads to mature relationships.
We’re often tempted to rely on our partner for approval and appreciation. This leads to us staying in relationships, even when it’d be better not to, because if we lose them – who will appreciate us? You need to start appreciating yourself so that you don’t depend on anyone. Your first love has to be the relationship you share with yourself.
Many consider self-love as selfish, but in fact, it’s the most selfless thing you could do. Because as we’ve seen, not loving yourself won’t let you love anyone else either.
So, let’s dive into the sea of unconditional love and learn to be happy again.
Photo by Giulia Bertelli on Unsplash